When tension becomes clarity.

For the past few years, volleyball has been more than a sport in our family.

My daughter started playing when she was young, and somewhere along the way I fell in love with the game too. That eventually turned into coaching. First her high school JV team, then her competitive club team. It became a meaningful way to support her growth and the growth of other student athletes.

For a long time it felt like a healthy polarity.

Coaching volleyball and keeping margin.

When balanced, the upside was powerful. Connection, development, shared family time, and growth as a coach. At the same time I kept an eye on the risks. Burnout. Anxiety. Losing space for the rest of life.

It was working.

Then something changed.

About a year ago my daughter suffered a significant injury. What followed were months of rest, physical therapy, and the emotional weight of being sidelined. She tried to come back, reinjured it, and tried again. Eventually she made one of the hardest decisions a young athlete can make and stepped away from the sport.

Not because she stopped loving the game, but because playing through pain and anxiety was costing her too much.

That is when the tension started to feel different.

When she was playing, coaching created margin in our family life. When that changed, coaching began competing with it. What had once been a healthy both-and slowly drifted into something closer to a dilemma.

Continuing to coach would mean less margin for my daughter, our family, and everything else that matters.

So for now, I stepped away.

It was not an easy decision. I do not like quitting things. I wondered if I was letting go of something important.

But the clarity eventually outweighed the discomfort. This was not about leaving the game behind. It was about creating margin again so that if coaching reenters my life someday, it does so in a healthier and more sustainable way.

Sometimes leadership, and parenting, is not about managing the tension better, it’s about recognizing that the tension itself has changed.

Keep tending.